Friday, 19 December 2008

Inane Inane Inane

I'm so, so glad this is still on the internet. I first saw this page maybe 3 years ago and have been holding on to it like a tiny quivering duckling until I got my own blog. I was innocently image searching for something or other and became distracted by the image of a bikini-clad lady on the returned results, so opened the page to have a quick look (am I the only one who does this?).

The Greatest Page on the Internet is, in fact, a page to anticipate the holy matrimony of Cindy Hill and Barry Sikorski, pictured. It sports many features of the glory days of Web 1.0, including, but not limited to: SCROLLING TEXT!!! HIT COUNTER!!! POLL!!! GUEST BOOK!!! COUNTDOWN CLOCK!!! Bloody 'ell, it's pretty state-of-the-art stuff. But that's not the point. This website, at best, could be viewed as a celebration of love between a man and a woman. At worst, it could be seen as a ridiculous, self-obsessed, masturbatory piece of detritus. The site is best viewed directly, but here are some things to look out for:
  • The lengthy description of their shockingly mundane first meeting
  • An appeal for a duck-babysitter (who has a duck? well, apart from Ziggy)
  • A game based on aforementioned duck
  • A poll as to which Island in Hawaii they MUST see on their honeymoon
  • The amazing, amazing, amazing fun and games section, where we are encouraged to find as many words as possible within the names of the couple. Apparently there are 47 word combinations in 'CINDYHILL', and a mighty 217 in 'BARRYSIKORSKI'. Visitors are encouraged to play at home, and bring their lists to the wedding to check and compare as an icebreaker. Holy fuck.
It makes me wonder if perhaps, there is a kind of museum for this stuff. I for one would be interested to see more examples of the first tentative footsteps into cyberspace, the more mind-bendingly inane the better. Anyway, have a peep before it disappears forever. 

It is the lucky find of my life and I wont for nothing more. Spread the word. 

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